How to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow {+ printable family rules}

Raluca Loteanu July 20, 2017
15 people like this post
how to create family rules

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I am a big fan of giving a lot of freedom during their childhood. They need to play a lot, to have fun, and to enjoy every moment of these wonderful years! But I am also convinced that rules are important for children! They help them understand what is right or wrong and allow them to learn how to behave. I am really lucky that my son likes rules too! It may seem strange but he is actually happy to follow rules as soon as he understands the reason behind them. This is why lately I thought a lot about how to create family rules for our home.

I wanted to do this in a way that will make my son be willing to follow them. I never used time-outs or punishments for enforcing our rules, so I don’t plan to do this in the future either. So I decided to create our family rules in a playful way and make sure that he will be happy to follow them.

Here are the steps that helped me implement our rules.

1. Involving the child in the setting of the rules

The parent is the one who sets the rules. But kids can have a word on this too! So I created a list of rules and I talked about each of them with Bogdan.

I explained why each rule is important. And I asked about his opinion. He was happy to be involved and came up with some suggestions to add to the list!

2. Keeping the rules simple and clear

For young kids, it is really hard to remember and follow a lot of rules. This is why creating simple and clear rules is very important!

3. Combining the family rules with our family values

I didn’t want our rule list to be boring or too demanding. So I’ve added our family values on the list! They are a happy way to remember what is important for us. They also provide us a good motivation for following the rules. 🙂

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Here are our family values that I’ve added to our list:

This list is also a wonderful reminder for me. When I face a difficult moment, reading the list helps me regain my positive mood more quickly. 🙂

I read this list to Bogdan from time to time and he is happy to talk about it. I hope that this values will always guide him through life.

4. Creating a set of rules that we all follow

I truly believe that the most efficient rules are the ones that we enforce through our personal model. We cannot expect kids to follow rules that we don’t follow. We cannot ask a child not to yell when he hears us yelling all the time. We cannot require him to be polite if we don’t use polite words ourselves.

So I created rules that apply to all of us! I make sure that Bogdan follows the rules and I always remind him of them when he doesn’t obey one of them. And I taught him to do the same with me. If I raise my voice, he knows that he can tell me that this is wrong and against our family rules.

This not only helps me calm down quicker but it also teaches him (once again) how important our rules are. This approach makes him be willing to follow the rules. And he is happy when he has the chance to remind us about the rules and see us following his advice.

5. Putting the rules into practice

We displayed the list in our home so we always have it at hand. We read it from time to time just as a reminder, in a playful way.

Also, when Bogdan disobeys one of the rules I remind him about the list. I just tell him that we agreed on that rule and it is important to follow it. As I wrote before, I never use time-outs or punishments when he doesn’t follow a rule. Instead, I discuss the issue with him and I suggest possible solutions for avoiding the problem to appear again.

Sometimes he has a hard time following a rule and in that case, I know that I must set a firm limit on his behavior. I talked more about how I do this in another post: How to set limits with young kids in an effective and gentle way with 3 simple steps.

I know that this approach (of not using any punishments) may seem strange and inefficient to many parents but it works great for us. If you are curious to find out more about it, I invite you to read this article: Our story of raising a child without punishments (or time-outs).

Our list of family rules

Every family is unique, so the rules can be different in each home. Still, I think that most of them apply to everyone. I share here our list, in case you like it and you want to implement it in your house.

You can download it using the form at the end of the article. I have also created a template in case you want to create your own list. No matter what rules are most important for you, I’m sure that a positive and playful approach will help your kids follow them. It takes time and patience but these rules and values but it’s totally worthwhile. If they are implemented in a right way and the child truly understands them, they will be the guide him for the rest of his life.

Download our printable template and create your own family rules

The printable file contains our family values and family rules but also template for creating your own lists.
How to create family rules

To download the printable you just need to enter your email address in the below form. This will also give you access to the Playful Notes community and our weekly newsletter. You will find there a lot of other ideas and our full printable collection.

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If you wonder how to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow, here are some tips to help you and a printable file for creating your own rules! | Family rules printable | Family rules for kids | DIY family rules If you wonder how to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow, here are some tips to help you and a printable file for creating your own rules! | Family rules printable | Family rules for kids | DIY family rules If you wonder how to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow, here are some tips to help you and a printable file for creating your own rules! | Family rules printable | Family rules for kids | DIY family rules If you wonder how to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow, here are some tips to help you and a printable file for creating your own rules! | Family rules printable | Family rules for kids | DIY family rules

If you wonder how to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow, here are some tips to help you and a printable file for creating your own rules! | Family rules printable | Family rules for kids | DIY family rules

photo credit: Yuganov Konstantin / shutterstock.com

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Raluca Loteanu

If you find yourself on this blog I invite you to discover us as the happy family we are, who look with optimism and joy at life. If you want to contact me, you can find me on email, I gladly respond to each message.

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Comments (8 people commented this post)

  • avatar image

    Ioana Marinescu

    July 21, 2017 Reply
    Lovely, Ralu! I "envy" you for your patience and your dedication to make so many nice things to make Bogdan's childhood beautifull and unforgetable. I wish I had this mindset when my daughter was Bogdan's age
    • avatar image

      Raluca Loteanu

      August 25, 2017 Reply
      Acum pot face asta pentru ca stau acasa cu el, dar in perioada cand lucram nu aveam la fel de mult timp si energie! Eu sunt absolut sigura ca si Ana a avut parte de o copilarie cel putin la fel de frumoasa! Tare mi-as dori ca atunci cand Bogdan va fi de varsta ei sa pot fi alaturi de el mult timp asa cum esti tu alaturi de Ana!
  • #50 Inspirația săptămânii (15 - 22 iulie 2017) | Cristina Oțel

    July 21, 2017 Reply
    […] ”How to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow {+ printable family rules}” – În ultima vreme ne tot gândim și noi că ar fi cazul să punem în scris câteva lucruri de bun simț după care ne ghidăm. Voi aveți reguli ale casei? […]
  • avatar image

    DaddyCool.ro

    July 21, 2017 Reply
    Amazing family values and amazing rules! Thank you! :)
    • avatar image

      Raluca Loteanu

      August 25, 2017 Reply
      I'm glad that you liked them! :-)
  • avatar image

    Helga

    July 30, 2017 Reply
    Loved them... Will try to edit them for older kids!
    • avatar image

      Raluca Loteanu

      August 25, 2017 Reply
      I'm so glad that you liked them! :-)
  • How to help young kids deal with strong emotions in a gentle way {+ printable} - Playful Notes

    September 16, 2017 Reply
    […] How to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow {+ printable family rules} […]

Leave your comment

Comments (8 people commented this post)

  • avatar image

    Ioana Marinescu

    July 21, 2017 Reply
    Lovely, Ralu! I "envy" you for your patience and your dedication to make so many nice things to make Bogdan's childhood beautifull and unforgetable. I wish I had this mindset when my daughter was Bogdan's age
    • avatar image

      Raluca Loteanu

      August 25, 2017 Reply
      Acum pot face asta pentru ca stau acasa cu el, dar in perioada cand lucram nu aveam la fel de mult timp si energie! Eu sunt absolut sigura ca si Ana a avut parte de o copilarie cel putin la fel de frumoasa! Tare mi-as dori ca atunci cand Bogdan va fi de varsta ei sa pot fi alaturi de el mult timp asa cum esti tu alaturi de Ana!
  • #50 Inspirația săptămânii (15 - 22 iulie 2017) | Cristina Oțel

    July 21, 2017 Reply
    […] ”How to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow {+ printable family rules}” – În ultima vreme ne tot gândim și noi că ar fi cazul să punem în scris câteva lucruri de bun simț după care ne ghidăm. Voi aveți reguli ale casei? […]
  • avatar image

    DaddyCool.ro

    July 21, 2017 Reply
    Amazing family values and amazing rules! Thank you! :)
    • avatar image

      Raluca Loteanu

      August 25, 2017 Reply
      I'm glad that you liked them! :-)
  • avatar image

    Helga

    July 30, 2017 Reply
    Loved them... Will try to edit them for older kids!
    • avatar image

      Raluca Loteanu

      August 25, 2017 Reply
      I'm so glad that you liked them! :-)
  • How to help young kids deal with strong emotions in a gentle way {+ printable} - Playful Notes

    September 16, 2017 Reply
    […] How to create family rules that kids will be happy to follow {+ printable family rules} […]