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Inside: Being a patient mom is not easy but it means a lot for the kids! Discover 5 easy tips that will help you become a more patient parent and build a more peaceful home!
Ever since I am a mom, I’ve heard or read plenty of pieces of advice on how to be a good mother. But one of the most precious lessons came unexpectedly, in one busy afternoon.
I was in the park with my son. It was late, and we were preparing to go home. I had a few important things to take care of at home, and I couldn’t stop thinking about them.
I wanted to make sure that we go home quickly, so I started gathering his sand toys while he was playing in another part of the playground.
I heard him calling me. He wanted to show me something he found. I told him that before I need to finish picking up the toys.
When I finally finished, I asked him what did he want to show me.
“It was a surprise, mom! And I put it in your purse”, he said.
He wouldn’t tell me what the surprise was so I asked him to take it out of the purse and show it to me.
He started searching for it but wasn’t able to find it. I looked for it as well but couldn’t see it either.
On our way home my son was upset and walked very slowly, so the whole walk seemed painfully long.
When we were close to our home, he asked me to let him look in my purse again. I agreed, but I asked him to hurry because I wanted to get home. He had no luck this time either. But he would still refuse to tell me what exactly he was looking for.
The whole situation felt frustrating. I had so much on my mind and all my son seemed to carry about was that thing hidden in my purse.
When we got home, I realized that it was very late. All I could think about was getting my son in bed quickly.
I hurried him through the whole bedtime routine. I even raised my voice while he was running around the house instead of brushing his teeth.
My patience was running very low, and every new delay added even more frustration.
When my son finally got into bed, I felt so relieved! But as I was laying over him to give him a goodnight kiss a question popped up unexpectedly:
“Mom, can I please look in your purse one last time?”
photo credit: Alena Ozerova / shutterstock.com
I was prepared to say “no” but before I even got the chance to say something I saw his eyes filling up with tears. I didn’t want to see him sad, so I agreed.
He took the bag and turned it upside down. Everything fell on the floor, and my son was searching inside it while tears were rolling on his cheeks.
I was watching him, and I felt so sorry! Why was I in such a rush all that evening? Why couldn’t I just stop and do the one thing that I knew was important for him?
I sat next to him and looked through the pockets of my big purse. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I hoped with all my heart that I would find it.
Then suddenly, as my son grabbed my wallet from the pile of things, a little rock fell on the floor.
“Here it is, mom!”, he said while a big smile covered his cute little face. “It’s a rock in shape of a heart! I found it in the park, and I knew you would like it!”
“This is what you’ve been looking for all this time? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”, I asked.
“I wanted to be a surprise!”, he answered. “It’s a heart rock for you! Isn’t it awesome?”
I nodded and hugged him. It was such a wonderful gesture, and I almost missed it because I was so impatient all that evening.
“I love you, mom!”, he said as he laid his head on my shoulder.
“I love you too! More than anything in the world!”
This time it was me who had tears rolling on the cheeks. I told him how sorry I was for the way I behaved that evening. I was so caught up in all the tasks in my head that I forgot to be patient and empathetic.
That evening I decided to stay with him until he fell asleep. And I kept thinking about what happened.
It was clearer than ever for me what it really means to be a good mom. It means being present, loving, and patient no matter how chaotic our days are. It means remembering every day how much connection matters for a child. And it means making room for these heartwarming moments, enjoying our kids, and bringing joy to their lives.
That evening had a big impact on me. Ever since that evening every time I start to get impatient I remember him standing next to that pile of things from my purse with that little shiny rock in his hand, smiling at me.
That moment also inspired me to gather tips on how to become a more patient mom and implement them in my life. Today I want to share the best of them with you, with the hope that they will help you too!
5 ways to become a more patient mom
Here are some of the most effective ideas that help me be a more patient mom. There is no magic solution that can take away all the impatience, but there are ways to keep things in control and offer our kids the calm and patient parents they deserve.
1. It all starts with your own emotions.
The most important step for becoming a more patient mom is managing your own emotions. It is not the child’s behavior that makes us act angrily or impatiently. It’s our inability to control our strong emotions.
But the good news is that you can learn to control these emotions! This will not only bring a huge improvement in your parenting, but it will help you in many areas of your life.
I know from my own experience that the journey to becoming a calm mom isn’t easy. Letting go of the anger takes time and effort. But it’s one of the best things that we can do as parents!
If you want to discover more tips on how to make this transition, here is a list of all the things that helped me become a calmer mom.
2. Make room for connection every day.
Life can get really busy with young kids around. It’s easy to get caught up in all the tasks and get left with no time or energy to spend quality time with the kids.
Connection makes kids behave better, and it also helps parents feel less stressed, so it plays a big role in building a strong relationship.
I’ve noticed that every time I focus on connection and I spend quality time with my son, it’s easier to be patient and calm. If you are struggling with finding time for connection every day, check out this easy habit that helped me spend quality time with my son every single day.
Making room for connection even on the busiest days is so important! It will help you build a more peaceful home and enjoy more happy moments with your kids!
photo credit: Alena Ozerova / shutterstock.com
3. Make time for yourself.
I know this is hard when you have young kids around. But here is the truth: self-care is not a luxury, is a necessity.
The thing that determined me to make more time for myself (and not feeling guilty about it) was the realization that this is not only good for me, but it’s also good for my child.
When I feel exhausted and frustrated, I tend to have less patience and get angry easier. But when I get some time for myself, I feel more relaxed, calm, and playful. And this makes my son so happy!
Also, kids are watching the way we live our lives and we need to show them that self-care is important.
Kids don’t need perfect moms who are exhausting themselves trying to do everything. Children need happy moms who have a balanced life and enjoy it!
4. Find a calm down strategy that works for you.
I know that it might seem strange but for me, it’s not always easy to just slow down and enjoy the moment. I constantly have a to-do list in my mind and I need to remind myself that from time to time that I need to “disconnect” from it.
Also, it used to be hard for me to calm down when I got angry. It took time and effort to learn to be a calm mom.
What helped me the most with both these issues was using calm down strategies every time when I got too impatient or angry.
Calm down strategies are very effective but first, you need to find the strategies that work for you. I did this by trying several strategies until I found the ones that really helped me.
If you are struggling with keeping your calm when dealing with difficult parenting moments, the 5 Day Stop Yelling Challenge created by Amanda from Messy Motherhood can offer you many helpful tips (and it’s free).
I love Amanda’s approach to helping moms manage their anger and become calmer and her ideas have always been a great inspiration for me!
She also offers a great list with 50 calm down strategies for parents that you can download from her blog.
photo credit: Alena Ozerova / shutterstock.com
5. Eliminate some of the tasks that overwhelm you.
One of the reasons for the lack of patience that many moms experience is the huge to-do list that they have every day. Taking care of the kids and the home means dealing with a ton of tasks every day!
In the middle of this busy schedule, it’s easy to lose your patience! The best solution to prevent this is simplifying and prioritizing your list of tasks.
Make more time for the things that make you happy and for the activities that bring joy and connection to your family. Focus more on what is really important for you and less on what you feel you “should” do. You’ll feel happier and your kids will too!
Using my time in a better way and not losing energy on unnecessary tasks made a big difference in my life!
If you feel that your schedule is affecting your ability to be the calm and patient mom you want to be, check out these 7 helpful time management tips that make my life easier. I’m sure that they will help you too!
It’s sometimes challenging to find more patience and slow down to allow us to enjoy our kids more. But once we learn to do this, our lives become a lot more peaceful and meaningful!
I never expected that one of the most precious life lessons for me as a mom would be brought by a little rock lost in my purse. And I’m so grateful that my son taught me how much patience matters!
>> Want to remember this? Share these tips to your favorite Pinterest board!
photo credit preview photo: Alliance / shutterstock.com