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Inside: Connecting with the kids is the most powerful way to build a strong parent-child relationship. Here is why connection is so powerful and how to build a close connection with your kids.
We were walking back home, and my son was loudly complaining about the idea of having a nap after lunch.
He kept informing me that there is no way he will sleep that afternoon, although I wasn’t even insisting on this.
He was obviously tired and angry.
Actually, the whole morning was just a series of difficult moments. He acted up before going out because he couldn’t wear his favorite t-shirt (because it was in the washing machine).
Then on the way to the supermarket, he kept breaking all the rules about safely riding his bike. He was speeding on the ramps, not waiting for me as we agreed, making loud noises all the time.
You can certainly imagine how our short stop at the grocery shop went! He started asking for things he knew we weren’t going to buy. And he complained about almost every item that we added to the cart.
Then we spent some time in the park, and this seemed to have a positive impact on his mood.
But as soon as we decided to go home, things started to get difficult again. And after a tiring and frustrating morning, I felt that my patience was running out.
It felt so difficult to handle that morning, and everything I did seemed so useless!
All I could think of was that I wanted to get home and hopefully enjoy some quiet while he naps.
But then, as we were on the way home, he stopped his bike and closely looked on the road.
I got closer, and he smiled at me and said:
“Look, mom, a lot of ants coming out of that hole! They are so cute! Maybe they are little ants and their moms going home for lunch.”
I looked at him, and my heart melted!
I realized that he is still my sweet little boy and that I was so busy thinking about my ruined morning that I never thought about the feelings that made him act like this!
So I took a deep breath, I left all my anger behind, and I just stayed there next to him, watching the ants.
Then I sat on the grass on the side of the road and invited him to join me. We talked about ants, we hugged, and we even played a little game that made us both laugh!
Before we got off the grass, I told him how much I love him. He smiled and told me he wants us to cuddle more before nap.
Those 10 minutes we spent on the grass really saved our day!
What happened that morning showed me once again how powerful connection is! Not only that his difficult behavior stopped, but later that day we talked about his behavior.
He understood what was wrong about the way he acted. And we found together some ways to do things better next time.
Why is connection so powerful
I truly believe that connection is the most powerful tool that we have as parents!
Because it allows us to show kids they are loved and appreciated! Because it helps us build a close and strong relationship with them. And most of all, because it allows us to raise happy and confident kids!
Here are some of the reasons that make connection so important for parents:
- The feeling of disconnection is the main cause for kids’ misbehavior.
When kids feel disconnected from us, they often engage in negative behavior and this makes parenting a lot harder.
On the other hand, when kids feel connected with us, they are more willing to follow our guidance and learn better ways to behave.
- Connection is all about making kids feel loved and putting the parent-child relationship first.
Kids who feel that parents truly love them (and accept them for who they are) have more self-confidence and are more emotionally-balanced.
Pam Leo explains very well why connection is so important for every parent:
Keeping children’s love cup (emotional fuel tank) filled is the key to effective parenting. When children feel loved and connected, they care about what we need and feel. It is only when children care about what we need and feel that they respond to parental guidance. When children are low on emotional fuel, they become anxious, stressed, and angry.”
The great benefit of connection is that it allows us to focus on the kids’ feelings instead of their actions. When we focus on emotions we are less likely to take the behavior personally and let anger guide our reactions.
Also, we are more likely to truly understand the kids and provide them the support and guidance they really need.
Do you want to build a closer relationship with your kids? Join the Family Joy Club!
Building a strong connection with the kids is the most powerful way to build a happy and peaceful family!
Not only that the kids will be happier because they will feel our love and support, but we will also feel better knowing that we are building a close relationship with our children.
This is why I want you to invite you to join the Family Joy Club and discover simple, playful ways to build more happy memories with your kids!
Inside the Family Joy Club, all the hard work is done for you, so you can have more time for yourself and bring more creative play and connection to your home.
I can’t wait to share all the ideas with you!
photo credit: Evgeny Atamanenko / shutterstock.com