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Inside: If you ever wondered how to reconnect with your child after a difficult moment and repair the relationship, here is a proven way to rebuild the connection.
There is that one thing that can prevent us from building a positive connection with our children: our own emotions. We cannot connect with our kids and be gentle with them if we don’t manage to control our strong emotions.
Sometimes we get so angry that we can’t can the calm and loving parents that we want to be. Those difficult parenting moments when children need us the most are difficult for us too! And we sometimes make mistakes: we raise our voice, we say things that we don’t mean, we do things out of anger.
For me, managing my own emotions was more difficult than I imagined. It took me time and patience to learn to be a gentle mom even when I feel angry. If you struggle with the same thing, you can find here some great tips that helped me become a calmer mom. I hope that they will help you too!
The truth is that even when we have the best intentions and we try to be calm and gentle, we will still make mistakes sometimes.
The good news is that we can fix things and we can rebuild a strong connection with the kids even after we make a mistake. And it’s easier than you think! It’s all about learning how to reconnect with your child and repair the relationship using a simple but effective approach.
There is a method that is scientifically proven to help us restore a broken connection. It’s called the 5:1 ratio and it was discovered by researchers studying happy adult relationships.
They discovered that we need a ratio of five positive interactions to every one negative interaction that we have in order to keep the relationship strong and happy.
The exact same principle applies to our relationship with the kids. And it’s a wonderful way to reconnect with our children!
photo credit: Liderina / shutterstock.com
How to reconnect with your child using the 5:1 ratio
When you lose your temper or you do something that feels wrong, there are 3 steps that can help you rebuild a loving connection:
Guilt is only filling you with negative feelings that will only make things worse.
- offer an honest apology to the child
It’s important for children to see that we admit our mistakes and we want to make things right. We are role models for our kids and they will learn from us how to fix a mistake they make.
- have 5 positive interactions that rebuild the connection between you and your child
They don’t have to be big things! Every little gesture that makes the child feel loved counts! You can find many ideas of ways to build connection in the first email in this series.
photo credit: Maria Evseyeva / shutterstock.com
How to reconnect with your child: Easy ideas to add on your Reconnect List
The 5:1 ratio is a powerful tool to make sure that we don’t lose the strong connection that we have with the kids but it’s not always easy to put into practice.
After we do something wrong, we want to repair things immediately but this is not how it goes. It’s not enough to say or do something nice after we mess things up and to expect reconnection to magically happen.
So we need to focus on those 5 positive interactions and make sure that we don’t get trapped in our busy schedule and forget about them.
The easiest way to do this is to create a Reconnect List. This list includes 5 simple things that we can do to fix things after we do something wrong.
So today I want to invite you to start using a Reconnect List with your kids.
I have created 3 lists that you can download at the end of this email. You can print and use them or you can create your own list based on what your child likes.
Download your Reconnect List
To download the printable list you just need to click on the below link.
You can display the list in your home to have it at hand anytime you need it. This visual reminder will keep you accountable and will bring some happy moments for you and your child!
This approach can make a big difference for both you and your child! If you want to make the relationship with your child a priority, I recommend you to try this! It’s easy to do and it can be the key to becoming a better parent.
More from Playful Notes
- Download the Positive Discipline Toolkit (free for a limited time)
- The easy habit that will help you spend quality time with kids every single day
>> Want to remember this? Share these ideas to your favorite Pinterest board!
photo credit preview photo: Nina Buday / shutterstock.com