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Everyone talks about how wonderful it is to have a child and about all the joy that motherhood brings. And it all sounds so good!
No one told us about the other side of the story. The part where being a mother is hard, exhausting and it sometimes feels overwhelming. I wish I knew this before becoming a mother. It wouldn’t change my decision about having a baby, but I strongly believe that it would have made things easier. No one every told me how difficult it will be and when I faced the reality I felt alone and guilty.
At first, I thought I am the only one that feels it’s so hard and then I felt that I’m doing something wrong because motherhood seems so easy for others and so challenging for me.
In the first months, I was alone with my baby at home almost the whole day and at night I woke up several times for breastfeeding him, so it all seemed overwhelming. One day my baby was crying, so I took him in my arms and I sat on the couch. I was tired and it seemed that nothing could stop his cry. So I just stood there, hugging him and telling him that I am sorry I cannot do anything else to soothe him. I felt lost and tears were rolling on my cheeks. He cuddled in my arms and stopped crying as if he understood me. That was the moment when I realized that being a mother is hard, but the love I have for my boy will help me go through all the difficult times.
And I promised myself that I will always be honest about how hard it is to be a mother because I strongly believe that every mother needs to hear this, to know that she is not alone and to be reassured that she is going a great job.
Being a mother means many nights with no sleep, a continuous struggle to get things done right and a lot of challenges to face every day. In these three years since I am a mom I learned a lot of things about me, I faced challenges I didn’t even imagine and I grew stronger with every new stage of my boy’s life. It didn’t become easier and maybe it won’t become easier soon but at least I know now that I am not alone, that being a mother is sometimes hard and most of all that I can find the strength to be a better mother every day.
If you are a new mom, I just want to tell you it’s okay to feel lost, frightened or overwhelmed. Every mom feels that at some point and it’s part of our “job” as moms. It doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong, it just means you need to give yourself a break and to ask for a little help with the daily tasks. Being a mom is not so glamourous and wonderful as it might seem when you look at the perfect photos that other moms share on Facebook or when you hear those joyful experiences other moms tell in the park. Motherhood is a real full-time job that requires a lot of patience, kindness, responsibility and unconditional love and it’s not easy at all.
So every time you feel overwhelmed and sad I just want you to know I understand what you feel and I hope you’ll find the strength and the motivation to get over all these difficult moments. Just looking in your child’s eyes and then hugging him for a while might give you a little more power to face all the challenges.
And next time you meet up with another new mom, tell her that she is doing a good job and be honest with her about everything that motherhood really is. Tell her about the joy and the love, but also about the sad moments and the fears. It could really make a difference in her life.
Being a mom is the most rewarding job a woman can have, but it’s also the most difficult one. What is really wonderful about it is that over the years it pays off. This is the thing I always think about every time it feels hard to be a mother.
p.s. I have two favorite quotes that really helped me when I felt overwhelmed, I hope they will bring hope and inspiration for you too.