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Inside: In the heat of the moment, it’s hard not to let anger get the best of you. Here are 5 ways to reset your mood and calm down when you get angry at your kids.
It all started with a Lego piece. A small Lego piece that my son threw to hit me in the arm.
I turned around and saw my son’s angry face. He was hungry and the dinner was not yet ready so he was in a bad mood.
We talked about it but this didn’t really help. A new Lego piece hit me while I was sitting on the floor trying to talk with him.
I was tired after a busy day and my patience was running low. By the time the third piece hit me despite my efforts to connect with him, I felt that I was very close to losing my calm.
I picked up all the pieces and took the Lego box in the closet. I explained to him once again that even if he is upset he is not allowed to hit me and for a while, things seemed to get back on track.
So I returned to the kitchen to finish the dinner. He started talking about the things he wants to do with his dad after dinner. To be honest, I was looking forward to those after-dinner activities with his dad because they finally meant a few quiet moments for me!
But soon the conversation took a different turn. He told me that he wants to go to the pool with his dad and I told him that they can’t go to the pool so late because it’s already too cold outside.
He didn’t take that answer well.
I could hear his voice getting angrier. Then out of the sudden, I felt something hit me. This time it was a small wooden toy that hit me in my arm and then almost broke down the plates in front of me.
“Why did you do this?”, I yelled while I was pulling the toy out of one of the plates.
But just before continuing what would probably have been an angry lecture about what happened I saw a little note on the fridge.
It said – “Always choose love”. I put that note on the fridge a few weeks before to remind me to not get impatient in the mornings when getting ready for preschool.
When I saw the note I realized that I had 2 choices: to let anger take control of myself (and get into a fight with my son) or to find a way to calm down and handle this situation in a better manner.
I turned off the oven and told my son that I needed a few minutes to calm down. I went to the bedroom and spent some moments calming down and resetting my mood.
For me, doing this was something that I needed to learn in my journey to becoming a calm mom.
In the heat of the moment, it’s hard not to let anger get the best of me. I realize that I need to make an effort to reset my mood to prevent doing or saying things that I would later regret.
photo credit: Yuganov Konstantin / shutterstock.com
5 ways to reset your mood when you get angry
If regaining your calm in these tense moments is something that you are struggling with, I’ve gathered here the best tips that help me in these situations. They can make a big difference and I hope that they will help you as much as they help me!
1. Take a mom time-out
If you can safely leave your child alone for a few minutes, go to another room and enjoy some quiet moments on your own. Take a few deep breaths, detension your body, and think about something that makes you happy. This will help you regain control of your emotions and return to your child without feeling angry.
2. Try a perspective shift
Often when we get angry at our kids we feel that they are disrespectful or defiant towards us. This thought keeps us captive in an angry mood for a longer time because we feel that we need to “fix” this and regain “control” of the situation.
But the truth is that kids don’t act out to upset us. They act out because they are having a hard time and they cannot handle their emotions.
Instead of thinking about the behavior as something the child did to disrespect / defy / annoy you, think about it as a signal that your child needs your help to deal with a struggle. This perspective shift will melt your anger and make it easier for you to reconnect with your child.
3. Listen to a song that makes you happy
Download some of your favorite songs on your phone. Anytime you feel that you get into a bad mood, listen to those songs and let them fill you with joy.
Dancing is also a great way to relieve the stress and instantly boost your mood.
4. Count your blessings
When you are in a bad mood it’s easy to only see the negative side of things. An easy way to turn this around is to do an easy gratitude exercise. Close your eyes and think about 5 things that you are grateful for.
It might seem a useless thing to do but once you try it you’ll see how well it works. Expressing gratitude is one of the easiest ways to boost your mood and you can do this anytime you need!
photo credit: Alliance / shutterstock.com
5. Move your body
Science shows that moving your body helps you relieve stress and feel better. One easy thing you can try anytime at home is doing 10 jumping jacks.
Another idea is wrestling with your kids. This will not only help you but it will also improve your child’s mood and you’ll have fewer triggers to handle.
That evening when my son hit me with his toy offered me the chance to make a choice. To choose calm over anger.
I went to the bedroom, took a few deep breaths, and closed my eyes. I thought about some of the happy moments that I spent with my son in the last days. About all the cuddles and smiles we shared. About his cute face welcoming me every morning with a big smile.
The anger slowly melted away. I returned to the living room. My son apologized, we talked about what happened and ended up hugging each other on the sofa.
When I went to the kitchen to finally finish dinner I saw the note on the fridge again. Always choose love. I was so glad that in that angry moment I did choose love.
More from Playful Notes
- The most important things to do after yelling at your kids
- How to let go of mom guilt and why you need to do this
>> Want to remember this? Share these ideas to your favorite Pinterest board!
photo credit preview photo: Yuganov Konstantin / shutterstock.com