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The biggest struggle that we ever had as a couple was adjusting our life to our new roles as parents. I never imagined that having a child could have such a big impact on our couple. But the truth is that it affected us a lot. And it still does sometimes, when we are so busy that we forget to focus on our relationship. If you have faced the same struggle, you probably know how difficult it is to keep a strong couple relationship as busy parents.
Every time when I get overwhelmed by my role as a mother, I tend to put the relationship “on hold”. I feel that I have no time for couple activities and all my attention is focused on overcoming the parenting struggles. Other times, when I am tired after a busy day at home with my child, I feel that I have no more energy to invest in our relationship. And this is so wrong!
This year one of my resolutions is to focus more on my marriage. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband and I really want to show him how much I love him! So I decided to be more intentional when it comes to our relationship. It’s not easy but I’m sure that it’s totally worthwhile!
In my attempt of keeping our relationship strong and happy, I’ve discovered some nice ideas that I want to share with you. They are really simple but they matter a lot! They are a wonderful opportunity for us to remember how much our partner means to us and to show it! Love is about the small gestures that we make for each other. And it’s about making the other person feel loved and cherished every day!
photo credit: Nadia Sobchuk / shutterstock.com
I wrote down these ideas on my agenda, to have them at hand all the time. I hope you’ll like them too and they’ll make your relationship happier and stronger!
1. Starting each day with a hug and a kiss.
It’s really easy and it feels great!
2. Saying something positive about the partner every day.
Sometimes it’s just a compliment. Other times, I take the time to tell him how much I appreciate his support. Or I say to him what a wonderful father he is.
I realized that I say negative things too often and they are not helping our relationship at all. So instead of focusing on the things that could be better, I decided to focus on the good things. And to let my husband know that he is a great support for me!
3. Writing Thank you notes or Love notes.
I just write something nice for him and I hide the note on his laptop or in his backpack. I’m sure that he is happy to read them.
4. Listening in a caring way.
After a busy day with my son, I often felt too tired to have a meaningful conversation with my husband when he returned home. But I realized that it’s really important for him to share his thoughts with me. And for me, it’s also wonderful to be able to share my feelings and thought with him.
So I try to make time each evening to ask him about his day at work. And I try to listen without interruptions. I also tell him what we did all day. These conversations make us feel more connected and the family evenings become more happy and enjoyable for all of us.
5. Discussing our feelings every time we feel disconnected.
When we ignore our feelings and the issues that appear in the couple, the problems only get bigger. So, from time to time, I ask my husband how he feels about our relationship. I ask him what would make him happier. And I try to find out what bothers him about our marriage.
I also honestly share my concerns and disappointments. These conversations help us improve the things that go wrong. And when things cannot be improved, we try to find solutions to compensate what it’s missing in our relationship.
6. Making time for couple activities.
This is by far the most challenging thing for us at this time. We don’t have any help with our child, so we spend all the time with him. At night, when he falls asleep, we are sometimes so tired that we fall asleep as well.
But a good coffee in the afternoon can make miracles! 🙂 We try to spend as much time together as we can after Bogdan goes to sleep. We watch movies or show, we talk, we plan new vacations.
If you need some inspiration for planning couple activities at home, here are 14 lovely at-home date night ideas for parents.
photo credit: Evgeny Atamanenko / shutterstock.com
7. Planning new activities together.
I am a big fan of schedules for our daily activities. This helps me plan nice activities with my son and still have time for me and the things that I love.
But when it comes to couple time, schedules and routines are not appealing at all! So I try to plan new activities for us as often as I can. Even if they are family activities (and not just couple activities), making something new and exciting is great for all of us! We feel more energized and connected and this is wonderful for our relationship!
8. Preparing some nice surprises.
Everyone enjoys a nice surprise! And preparing a surprise for the person we love is a wonderful way to bring joy and happiness.
Here are some nice surprise ideas that I liked:
– a video with lovely couple photos
– a gift with no reason
– breakfast in bed
– a nice dinner (or dessert)
– a surprise visit at his job at lunch
– a love letter per email
– tickets to a sporting event/concert
– a couple photo session for creating lovely memories.
Building a strong relationship as busy parents is not easy!
In my opinion, the secret of a happy marriage is a constant commitment to making it work! Building a strong relationship means time and effort.
Even if we are busy parents, we should never forget that we are still a couple. And that love is all about connection and meaningful moments together!
More from Playful Notes
- One year of date ideas for happy couples: A love coupon book for parents {printable}
- Dear husband, thank you for always being there for me
- The most meaningful gift that I’ve ever prepared for my husband
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photo credit preview photo: Uber Images / shutterstock.com
