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When you feel like you failed as a mom please read this! It might change the way you see things and bring a smile on your face!
Usually, when I lay in bed after a busy day at home with my son I can hardly resist not to fall asleep before him. But that night was different.
I could feel the tiredness in my whole body but I couldn’t fall asleep. In my head, I was telling myself again and again that I failed as a mom.
And the truth was that our life seemed really chaotic at that time.
I felt guilty for all the moments when I worked instead of playing. For the situations when I could have been calmer but I wasn’t. Even for untasty sandwiches that my son ate for dinner because I was too tired to prepare anything else.
I got up and went to take a shower. I let the water run loudly in the bathtub. And I tried to focus on that noise because somehow it seemed to cover the noise of my thoughts. That feeling of failure was so incredibly overwhelming!
After a while, I got out of the shower and laid on the couch. I started to scroll my Facebook feed without even paying attention to anything. Until something caught my eye!
There was that one simple image with a short text:
“Be kind to yourself. You are good enough.”
It was such an amazing feeling just to read this! In that moment, it was exactly what I needed!
photo credit: Evgeny Atamanenko / shutterstock.com
I opened my agenda and wrote this down. And I promised to be kind to myself. To forgive myself and to let go of all that guilt.
Now, many months after that night, a discussion with a dear friend reminded me of all those feelings. She felt exactly the same as I did! And I’m sure that many moms go through the same struggle!
This is why I decided to write this post. For all the moms who feel like they failed, who wonder if they make the right choices, who are overwhelmed by that intense feeling of guilt.
I want you to know this: You are not a failure!
Maybe you made mistakes. Maybe you could have done some things better. But you also did a lot of good things for your kids!
All moms make mistakes! Even more often than we like to admit.
There is no such thing as a perfect mother. You can’t be perfect and you shouldn’t be!
Your kids will learn from you that they don’t need to be perfect. They will see you making mistakes and trying to fix them! And this is a precious lesson that you can give them.
“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” (Jill Churchill)
Learning from our mistakes will make us better parents. But first, we need to allow ourselves to truly forgive ourselves and start over without guilt.
Motherhood is really hard.
We talk so much about the wonderful blessings of motherhood and so little about the struggles. The truth is that motherhood is probably the hardest job in the world!
It’s impossible not to struggle along the way. Not to question if our choices are the right ones. Not to worry about so many things!
“Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.” (Sharron Jaynes)
We always try to do our best as parents. And in the same way we try to be gentle and kind to our children, we need to learn to be kind to ourselves. This is the most precious gift that we can give ourselves as moms!
Kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a happy mom.
Feeling guilty is keeping us in a vicious circle of unhappiness.
And those emotions prevent us from being the happy and playful moms our kids need!
We can’t change the past. But we can change the present. And we can do this when we let go of all the negative feelings. When we promise ourselves that today we will be better parents than we were yesterday. This is enough!
There will be so many times you feel like you’ve failed. But in the eyes, heart and mind of your child you are super mom. (Stephanie Precourt)
This is so true! Kids have this amazing power of seeing the positive things inside us. And we can learn from them to look more at what it’s good inside us instead of focusing on what we did wrong.
Every day is a second chance. Make the most of it.
We all make mistakes. And we will still make mistakes no matter how hard we try to avoid them.
But every one of our mistakes is an opportunity to learn how to do better.
photo credit: Evgeny Atamanenko / shutterstock.com
We can feel bad about yelling at kids. Or we can make a plan to stop yelling. We can blame ourselves for not spending enough time with our children. Or we can plan the next playful date with them right now.
It’s only up to us if we let our mistakes defeat us or we let them inspire us to be better.
“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” (Donna Ball)
If you feel like you failed as a mom, I truly hope that you’ll find here the motivation you need to let go of all the negative feelings.
I just want you to know this: you have not failed! You are not alone! You are a good mom who will become even better with every lesson you learn along the way!
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photo credit preview photo: Tomsickova Tatyana / shutterstock.com