What a little rock taught me about being a patient mom
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Ever since I became a mom, I’ve read countless pieces of advice on how to be a good parent. But one of the most powerful lessons came unexpectedly, on a busy afternoon in the park.
It was late in the day, and I was ready to go home.
My mind was racing with all the things I still needed to do, so I hurriedly started gathering my son’s sand toys while he played nearby.
“Mom! Come see what I found!” he called out, his voice filled with excitement.
“In a minute,” I replied, focused on finishing up.
By the time I turned around, he was already grinning. “It was a surprise! I put it in your purse.”
I smiled, gave him a quick hug, and rushed us toward home. But as we walked, he started slowing down, dragging his feet, his excitement fading into quiet frustration.
A few blocks from home, he stopped. “Mom, can I check your purse? Just one more time?”
I sighed, impatience bubbling up. “Fine, but let’s be quick.”
He turned my bag upside down, sifting through everything, but came up empty-handed. Tears welled up in his eyes.
That’s when I realized: This wasn’t just a ‘thing’ in my purse. It was something that mattered to him.
We searched again. And then, finally, it tumbled onto the floor – a tiny rock, smooth and slightly shiny, shaped like a heart.
His face lit up. “Here it is, Mom! It’s a heart rock! I found it and knew you would love it.”
I stared at the little rock in his hand, my own heart sinking.
All evening, I had been in such a hurry that I nearly missed this small, beautiful moment.
That night, I lay next to him as he fell asleep, holding onto the lesson I had nearly overlooked:
Patience isn’t about waiting. It’s about slowing down long enough to see what truly matters.
It’s about noticing the little joys and making space for connection, even when life feels chaotic.
5 simple ways to become a more patient mom
Since then, I’ve tried to make small changes – nothing huge, nothing that requires more time or energy (because let’s be real, there isn’t much extra of either).
Just little shifts that help me slow down and show up for the moments that matter.
If you’ve ever struggled with this too, here are five simple shifts that have made all the difference for me.
1. Pause before reacting
Patience isn’t about never feeling frustrated. It’s about what we do in those moments when frustration rises.
Before I snap at my kids, I’ve started practicing a one-minute pause. Just one minute.
It might look like:
- Taking a few deep breaths
- Closing my eyes for a moment
- Silently reminding myself: He’s just a child. I’m the grown-up.
That tiny pause doesn’t make every moment perfect. But it does give me a chance to respond instead of react – and that’s where patience starts.
2. Make time for connection (even on busy days)
Here’s something I’ve noticed: When I’m intentional about connecting with my kids, I’m naturally more patient with them.
Even 15 minutes of real, focused time, without any distractions, makes a difference.
- A silly game before dinner
- Snuggling on the couch
- Letting him teach me something he’s excited about
When we fill their little cups with connection, everything feels easier – for them and for us.
3. Take care of yourself (without the guilt)
I used to think self-care was a luxury, something I could do if I had time (which, let’s be honest, I never did).
But the truth is, when I’m running on empty, I snap more easily. My patience disappears. Everything feels harder.
But when I take even a little time for myself (whether it’s a quiet cup of coffee, a short walk, or an uninterrupted conversation with a friend), I show up as a calmer, more present mom.
And the best part? My kids see the difference, too.
Our kids don’t need perfect moms who do everything. They need happy moms who enjoy life, laugh with them, and have the energy to be present.
And that starts with taking care of ourselves, too.
4. Let go of the “shoulds”
You know what steals patience faster than anything? Trying to do too much.
Some days, I feel like I have to do it all: keep the house clean, cook a healthy meal, engage my kids in meaningful activities, be productive, be present… be everything.
But when I let go of the idea that I should be doing all the things, I give myself space to breathe. And when I’m less overwhelmed, patience comes more naturally.
It’s okay to let things go.
- The dishes can wait.
- The toys don’t have to be picked up immediately.
- Your child will be just as happy with simple activities as with elaborate ones.
The less pressure I put on myself to do it all, the easier it is to be patient and present for the moments that truly matter.
5. End every day with love
Some days, I feel like the most patient, present mom. Other days… not so much.
But no matter how the day goes – whether it’s filled with giggles or moments I wish I could redo – I try to end it on a positive note.
Because here’s the truth: Kids don’t remember every time we lose our patience. They remember how we make them feel.
So at bedtime, I make sure to reconnect.
Some nights, it’s a silly story or a quick round of their favorite game. Other nights, it’s just a few extra minutes of snuggling and a reminder that tomorrow is a fresh start.
Because even on the hardest days, love is the last thing they’ll take with them as they drift off to sleep. And that matters more than any moment that went wrong.
That day in the park, I almost missed a moment that mattered. Not because I didn’t want to enjoy my son, but because I let the rush of life take over.
But now, whenever I feel myself getting impatient, I picture him holding that tiny rock, looking up at me with so much joy.
And I remind myself: Patience isn’t about waiting. It’s about noticing the magic in front of us, before it slips away.
Thank you. This is so helpful
I’m very glad that you found it helpful!
Very touching story !! Very insightful thank you ! Things we take for granted and we dont realize. Id like to say sadly happens more often then id like to admit. Because of this read i will slow down and when i hear “Hey Mom look ” I will actually look. Or ” Mom Guess what” I can stop with the same enthusiasm Look up and actually look at them. ( My children) and say something witty and give them the small amount of attention they need and so totally deserve. I feel so guilty. As i read you was the one with tears at the end i was also in tears. Bless his lilttle heart. What a great boy you have. I can so relate. Again thanks for sharing. I Will be writing these tips down so i can be reminded every day how important it is to be paitient. Once more thank you.!
Thank you..I’m a great grandmother of 1 & grandmother of 7. Reflection, experience, & reading such info as your blog have made me say”I wish I’d been a grandmother first then a mother”. meaning I would have connected more daily & been more of a balanced mother/person in general. I am recommending your blog to other young mothers.