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Ever since I first started to think about how I wanted my family to look like I wished to have three kids. I was just a teenager back then but this wish stayed with me over the years. I could imagine myself surrounded by three little ones, having them run around the house all the time, and filling my life with joy.
Six years ago I was pregnant with my son and excited to start this amazing journey of motherhood. Having him was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me! But parenting also came with emotional challenges, struggles, and changes I never imagined before. It took time and effort to regain my balance, to overcome the difficult moments I faced as a mom and a wife, to enjoy motherhood at its fullest.
By the time my son’s toddlerhood ended the thought of having another child faded away. I felt happy and fulfilled with our family life, and I was scared by the idea of ever losing our balance again. Without even realizing it, having an only child became our reality, and it felt the right thing for both me and my husband.
At the beginning of the year, we enrolled our son in school, and I was excited about this new stage in his life. I remember talking to my husband about how nice our schedule will look like after he starts school. I would have half a day to dedicate to work and the other half to spend with them, so it sounded perfect for all of us!
But then after a weekend when I felt terribly sick, I started to have a strange feeling that I only had ones before in my life. A few days later, I was sitting on the side of the bathtub, with a pregnancy test in my hand, and I couldn’t believe it showed two clear lines. To my surprise, a new baby was growing inside of me. This was so unexpected and unplanned that the thought of a new pregnancy scared me. I knew that a baby is a huge blessing and joy for any family, but I couldn’t help to feel worried and afraid.
For such a long time I was at peace with the idea of only having one child. I was convinced that I don’t want to start the whole motherhood journey all over again. I was sure that the sleepless nights, the diaper changes, and the toddlerhood chaos were behind me for good.
It took me a while to process all the feelings that came with that positive pregnancy test. To be honest, I even struggled with talking about them sooner because I felt too vulnerable to do this. In time, with every single day that went by, the love for the baby inside of me grew stronger and all the fears and worries started to slowly fade away.
I hesitated to share the news of the pregnancy sooner because I wanted to be totally honest about this journey of accepting all the emotions that came with it. I know that being scared of starting over might be hard to understand if you never felt this way. But I truly believe that being vulnerable and sharing my fears and struggles with you is just as important as sharing my parenting wins.
I’m already at the beginning of the third trimester now, and I am writing this from the waiting room of my doctor’s office. And even if this pregnancy announcement comes a lot later than usual, it feels wonderful to share this news with you!
More pregnancy tips and ideas:
- 3 unexpected ways my second pregnancy is different from the first
- The most important things to add to your third-trimester checklist
photos from depositphotos.com
